I believe.

This week have been really productive. I've done so many things, found out i'm not so stupid after all, and studying last minute for certain subjects are possible :) and ot myself a few new stuff and even went new places, saw what I dream to have when I'm older. awesome cell session too this week. :)

Have you got anyone that bothers you all the time. that every time it lets you done, thinking you're not so great yourselves. which leads your self-esteem to the ground. having no confidence in yourself suck doesn't it? I personally think it does. because I'm sick of people around me not appreciating me for who I am.It's like whatever I do, it ain't that great. I know there are better people with their awesome talents. but I'm still in the process on finding my own. and all I get from people around me are negativities which doesn't boost my confidence up in whatever I do. it leads me thinking I'm not good at anything at all.

Knowing you;re results are only average already brings you down. but with the things you do too. thats makes someone feel really useless in this world. I know everyone is all competitive in everything they do, everyone wants to be the best but aren't friends and families suppose to be there to support you and give encouragements? even my parents don't. even how many times I merajuk pfft. and some people say I'm strong. I'm not at all. I cry when I need too just that i don't go around finding people to cry too.

especially when you closest friend brings you down. not being there when they need too. not noticing that you have a problem. but when everyone has their problems I'm always there. you say i', busybody? hah, its not fun being one too. caan't it ever work both ways. why can't everyone appreciate their friends. its liek you have friends but you're not special to them at all. only when you're in school everyone is close but when the bell rings, we're all strangers? I hate feeling that I treat people as my close friend but in return I'm not even their top 15 friend.

and calling someone your best friend and not showing that she actually is, is utter bullshit. I don't expect someone being there for me 24/7 or anything. but just show that they appreciate me and in return be there for me like how I am  to them. but nobody ever sees that. everyone has feelings, I ain't no robot :)

Besides that, I always have issues on how people would look at me. how would they think of me. what are people visualiasing in their mind about me. ya know? sometimes I wish i  had the power to read minds. hah, that would be cool yet freaky. thats also one thing thats leads my confidence down all the time. its just that you just don't wanna look bad to others, you diggg? :)

but i've let all my feelings out after last weeks cell session :) maybe god knew I had my problems. and no matter what, from no on i'll push back all negativities from others and do what I know I'm good at. plus not what others say are usually 100% true, they might be jealous and just wants you to give up you're good talent. so don't get down so easy to ya'll that are reading ym blog. sorryy too much words. I have not have any pictures with me.

wait up for my next post aight? holidays for a week, i guess you'll see more updates coming soon. hah,