two of my favourite people in life :) what more do i need than friends like them who are always there for me through ups&downs and what more our enjoyable moments together. who say being in diff schools would keep us apart? :) somehow it got us closer. imagine being friends till we're wrinkly.

anywya,s the reason why i got into my blog again was, i needed to tell out whats in my mind :/ I know its trials and the only thing that i should think of are books and words. but no, reality is not that simple. sigh. why do guys have to make everything so complicated?! they don't get what is "leave me alone" or "just stop it" its like they are so immune, they have no feelings at all for what other people feel except for theirselves. why so selfish for? your acting this way just cause a havoc to others also? i mean, come on, we all have friends. must it always have to be I like them so i continue contacting them. can't i be friends with people, people from the opposite sex too? no? i didn't know there was such rules for me to follow.

I'm so fed up of what people are asking me to do for my life. i mean, i get it. i shouldn't do this and that. but don't i get to choose what i wanna do once in awhile too? don't i get to make my own decision too? would you like it if people comes to you, telling you its wrong to talk to someone its wrong to go out with someone. I do what i think is right for me, not you. i'm big enough to do what i think, i know i've done so many mistakes in life but thats where i start to learn, thats the whole process of learning isn't it? cause I was on my own when i first came into this world, unless your saying about my parents :)

i never say my life was easy or hard. I have my hard moments and my easy moments, so why can't i feel how am whenever i'm sad or happy? do i not have the rights to be upset at all? to tell you the truth my lovely readers, Im not happy at all. behind those smiles you see, i'm dead inside. sometimes i really don't know how to express it out. i don't know how anymore. after so many start telling me i should be this way and that way, sometimes seriously i don't even know how to feel at all. sometimes i feel so afraid to even show out how i feel about something, i know i should care of how people judge me, but its human nature isn't it? I don't wanna be looked at as a crybaby or a whinny little bitch.



my whole life is a judge. :/ sometimes i don't even wanna talk to anyone at all. sometimes i feel like being alone, thats when i feel free and happy. free away from all my problems and all the judgings. why judge when you yourselve face almost the same thing as everyone? aren't we all afraid of judgements? do you like being said either back or front? so you like being called lack of attention yourselve? do you like being called a bitch? do you like being called a bad friend? do you like being ask not to do what you want? do you like being controlled yourself? do you like being called a slut just because you hang out with guys? its really tiring to hear all this negative thoughts all the times. like i don't have enough of it.